


Funny You Should Ask

by SpookyUke (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Albino Dave, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, more tags as it goes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 22:16:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5265713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/SpookyUke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It would have been cool if you had gotten a ride to the bowling alley. Maybe your first interaction wouldn't be an awkward, devastating car crash into a lake of teen angst. Maybe you would have been able to be the capable cool guy that you think you are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Funny You Should Ask

**Author's Note:**

> okay so the beta kids are all 16-17, the alpha kids are around 19-25. Dirk and Dave aren't related for this thing so yeah, hope you like this trainwreck of a story i thought of the other day

John and Rose had planned this little bowling trip in advance, but had only just told you the day it was scheduled for. You were nervous about asking your Bro if you could go (he rarely ever gave you any response besides a grunt or head shake), but when you asked about this, he said in rough voice “Sure kid, you're walking.”

And here you are, walking. The bowling alley was twenty minutes by car and nearly an hour by foot. Cursing your bro, the ground, anything really, you see the dilapidated neon outside of the arena. Rubbing your hands together, you step into the heat of the building, the smell of cigarette smoke consuming you. Jade spots you first and comes bounding over, grin bright on her face.

“Jesus Dave! I thought you weren't going to make it!”  
You give her a shrug and slide up to the shoe counter. As you turn to look at the employee behind it, you can barely breathe. The guy behind it is tall, blond, and hot as hell. Literally. He's sweating buckets in his tank top and jeans. Is he okay? He gives you a blank stare which you return.  
“Can I help ya with somethin’?”

You scramble to find your voice.  
“Uh… You got a pair of tens?”

He digs around the shelves momentarily before handing you the pair. Throwing down your two dollars, you manage to save your suave, cool composure for your friends. Rose stands to greet you, having been previously engaged in conversation with some girl who was with a different group.  
“Well, if that wasn't one of the most awkward transactions I've ever seen.”  
“Hello to you too, Rose.”

You take a seat and pull your shoes off, slipping on the uncomfortable, sliding shoes you'd been given. John finishes up his turn and takes a seat next to you.  
“Hey Dave! Your up after Jade, and don't worry, I made sure you had the best name.”

He tries to contain laughter as you go up and hit your name on the monitor. DickMaster69. Inspiring. You turn to him and give a wry thumbs up. As you face him, you see the blond guy looking over at your group. He has a fan pointed at him and you have no idea how he's sweating that much it's 60 fucking degrees in here, colder outside. Your face turns a tiny bit red as you see him looking at you specifically. Being the center of attention is usually your thing, not tonight apparently.

Turning away quickly, you focus on Jades joy as she gets a strike. She's in the lead with John close behind, Rose not trying most likely, with 3 pins at the third column. You grab a random ball and take your turn, getting a gutterball on the first shot, 9 pins on the second. Rose gives you a pat on the back as you pass her.

You take your seat again. Jade chatting it up with John, she turns to you suddenly, as she does.  
“Psst, Dave… that guy has been looking at you since you got your shoes. He's kinda weirding me out…”

You snort and cast a sideways glance through your shades to find that he is looking at you. John doesn't even try to hide his stare at the man before speaking.  
“You should go see what his deal is, I'll back you up if it turns into a fight.”  
“John, I'm not gonna fight the guy. Probably.”  
You glance back at shoe guy to find him gone from his post, relocated to the snack bar to hand some kid their nachos and off brand Sprite.

Deciding to be casual about it, you go up there and clear your throat as he's facing the opposite direction.  
“Hey uh, can I get a coke or something?”  
You swear his eyes catch yours even through the dark shades on your face.  
“What size?”  
“M-Medium?”  
“Aight.”  
He swiftly pulls out a styrofoam cup and fills it with ice and coke, pressing the lid on and handing you a straw.  
“Four thirty-seven.”  
You take out a five and lay it down. He takes it and puts it in the register, handing you the change. You stumble over your words again.  
“So uh, what's your name?”  
Real smooth, the smoothest of smooth. It's you.  
“Dirk.”  
“Ah, cool. I'm Dave…”  
You sniff and rub your nose a bit.  
“I should… leave you to your work...yeah… Bye.”

You've never speed-walked so fast in your life. Rose lays her hand on your shoulder as you walk by.  
“Are you okay Dave? Your face is red.”  
She laughs and walks away. Damn her.

John snickers as you sit down, quickly leaving the table to take his turn and to not get his nuts kicked in. You sip your coke idly, taking your turn when you needed to. The blond guy, or Dirk, was looking at you even more intently as the night went on. You even bumped into him on accident on your way to the bathroom. He towered over you by at least a foot. 

John and jade ended up tying, Rose ended up with a girl's phone number, and you ended up with a crush on some sweaty, tall ass mother fucking bowling alley employee.

You talked to him again when you had to put your shoes up. You set the shoes on the counter and he placed them in their spot swiftly.  
“So Dirk, you got a phone?”  
He gives you his deadpan look and says that he does.  
“Could we-or I maybe have...your number?”  
His mouth twitches upwards slightly and he hands you a slip of torn paper quickly before going back to the concession stand.

You're jumpy and shaking the whole way home. Rose gave you a ride back to your house and bid you goodnight with a smile.

You unlock the door and step inside, the familiar scent of home easier to breathe in than the smoke stained air of the bowling alley. Bro isn't home and you're fine. He left you a few pieces of orange chicken and a bowl of rice on the counter.

After eating your dinner and changing into sweats and a hoodie, you finally decide to look at the slip of paper.  
“You're cute kid, but I'm not sure going after someone whose over the age of 18 is a good goal for you. Maybe try again if you're still interested after you graduate. -Dirk S.”

You muffle a scream of rage into your pillow and fall asleep in a huff of anger.


End file.
